Why Being Myself Ended Up Helping My Clients More Than Anything Else

 If you asked me a few years ago how I thought a cyber security founder should behave, I’d have said sharp, technical, switched on, and always ready with the right terminology. That’s the version of myself I tried to lead with at the start because I assumed that’s what people expected from someone in my role.

Over time, though, I’ve realised people want to buy from people.

And I didn’t learn that from a single moment, it’s been building slowly, through conversations where I could feel people relax the second I stopped trying to sound overly technical and just spoke like myself.

The Cyber Industry Has a Likeability Problem

One of the biggest things I’ve noticed is that cyber security, as an industry, can come across very techy. You hear it in the language, the acronyms, the tone. It’s knowledgeable, yes, but it can also be confusing, especially for founders and early-stage businesses who openly admit they don’t know much about the space.

I can’t blame them.

Most of the people I work with aren’t coming into the call thinking about frameworks or threat models. It actually looks more like this.

• “I don’t want to get hacked but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do.”
  
  

• “Is this going to cost me thousands?”
  
  

• “I hope I’m not about to be embarrassed for not knowing something.”

This is where the “people buy from people” bit becomes more than a nice phrase. If I show up stiff or overly technical, people will shut down. They nod along, but they don’t actually engage, and they certainly don’t open up about what’s really going on. The second I started speaking as me, Tom, not “Cyber Tom”, everything changed.

Letting My Personality Come Out Changed Everything

I’ve slowly realised that the more I let my own personality come through, the more people want to engage with me. I notice people relax, talk more openly, admit the things they’re worried about, and actually want to keep the conversation going. And that genuinely helps me do my job better.

When someone feels comfortable enough to be honest, when they’re not worried about being judged or confused, that’s when we get to the real issues that need solving.

Sometimes the “core problem” has nothing to do with a technical vulnerability. It’s more about confidence, misunderstanding, or a gap in process that no tool is going to fix. I only get to those conversations by being human first, technical second.

Why Founders Still Buy From People (Even With All the Tech Around Us)

There’s a big conversation in the sales world about whether people still “buy people” now that everything can be done online. But in my world, cyber security for startups and SMEs, the human element is still absolutely central.

Here’s why.

1. People don’t want to feel stupid

When someone doesn’t know much about cyber security, they need a space where they can ask questions without feeling judged. Being open, friendly, and just genuinely myself, gives them that space.

2. Being human builds trust faster

Cyber security is built on trust at every level. If someone can’t read you, relate to you, or feel comfortable around you, they’re not going to trust your recommendations. Showing up as myself helps people see I’m not here to sell them something they don’t need, I’m here to help.

3. Real conversations lead to better problem-solving

When I’m open, people tend to match that energy. Their honesty helps me understand what’s actually happening inside their business, not just what they think they should say. 

4. Authenticity makes people return

This part surprised me. The more myself I am, the better the business goes. Networking becomes easier, repeat business becomes more natural, people actually want to chat because they know they’re talking to a real person, not someone playing a role.

The Lesson I’ll Keep Carrying Forward

I used to think clients wanted the technical version of me with every single answer.
But the version of me that gets the best results, is the version clients actually relate to, which is the real me.

Because people still buy from people. And in cyber security, where fear, confusion, and overwhelm are common, being human isn’t just nice to have, it’s how you build the trust required to genuinely help someone.

That’s the lesson that’s shaped my business, and it’s one I’ll hold onto.